A Sunflower doesn't grow overnight

Have you ever been in a situation that you can not seem to wiggle yourself out of. Stuck in a macrocosm of thoughts of the weight of the "what if" scenarios? Have you shut your mouth and silence your mouth and said "It will all be over soon?" Well, I have. I have been in many sticky situations where book smarts do not even measure up to an infallible and rectifiable solution. Maybe if I thought hard enough, I could have wiggled myself out of those situations. But, now that I am 31, I sit back and think on my younger years, and the answer that I come up with is: I WAS A CHILD. As a child, I was not capable of thinking at adult levels. I may have been mature, sure. But, that doesn't erase my adolescence. I knew no better. I punished myself for far to long for what a "infallible " adult should have not let happen.

I have accused myself of many things,many because people only saw my reaction to my internal death...not what killed me. Would a teenager even really care? Teenage years are fickle for any gender. So, can I really be upset that my cry for help was received as me being a whore or a slut?

All I ever wanted was to be accepted. But, what I got was...I got to be used and abused. But, guess what guys? I am taking me back! 31 is definitely not too late for me to regain myself.

The question is... can you let go of what you THOUGHT you KNEW about me, and REALLY get to know me FOR ME? Can you really understand me now?

It doesn't really matter if you do or not, I am still going to live my life. But, I just want you to think. Could you change your thought process of me if you knew the truth? Could you handle the truth?

I am a sunflower, and no, I didn't grow overnight.... I was groomed.